So the other night I was talking to a friend about relationships and I found myself thinking about it more and more these past few days. Everywhere I go, everyone I meet, is always in a relationship or looking for one. I get asked sometimes why I don’t have a boyfriend. Is there something wrong with you? Are you just playing hard to get? Did you get out of a bad relationship? So many questions are asked, and when I simply answer, I’m not interested in it right now; people look at me a bit confused and don’t believe me. Of course I’m like all girls, I have my dreams, I have my own dream of having my perfect wedding and meeting my prince charming.
The reason why I’m not looking or I’m just simply not interested is because (and this might sound harsh) I have not met anyone worth it. I really don’t mean to sound like I’m all that great. I believe that no one’s been worth it because I believe I am not ready for it. My heart is not ready and therefore when I meet guys my head is not in it either.
I have met many people and including myself, who sometimes believe a guy is the one thing missing to make our lives truly happy. Well I have come to realize and learn that this is completely wrong. A guy is not going to give me the happiness I’m looking for. I need to be my own person and to be happy on my own before letting a guy into my life to become more than a friend. I need to be a 100% dependant on God before letting a guy into my life. I need to know that I am not sitting around wasting my life waiting for a guy. Yeah I believe God wants me to get married and have a family but I need to have my life fulfilled by God and God only. Then I believe he will bring me my other half and we can complement each other’s lives. But once that happens I know it will happen because my heart will be ready.
I want to be strong enough for my husband, I want him to be able to look into my eyes and see God in my life. I want my husband to be proud of the woman I have become; I want my husband to have my full support in everything he does, because the man I marry will be completely dedicated to God. My husband will be after God’s heart and I will fall in love with him for it.
Right now, I’m in the process of becoming the woman that one day will stand in front of everyone and vow myself to my husband, I’m in the process of becoming a proverbs 31 kind of woman. And even though I’m in the process, my priority right now is not finding a husband but falling more and more in love with my creator. My priority is obeying what God has for my life. The day God decides that my heart is ready I know he will introduce me to the man who I will spend the rest of my life with, the man who I will walk side by side to fulfill God’s calling upon our lives. Yes I dream about this day, but mean while I’ve got lots of things to take care of.
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