Tonight, for some reason my heart feels broken. Tears are coming down my face and I have no way of stopping them. I tell my brain to stop but my heart wont. I am not sure if it’s just because my sister got married two days ago or If there is more to it.
While growing up, it was Pao and I all the time, no matter where we went or what we did, we were always together. She is not only my sister but also my best friend. I am excited, happy and proud of her and the new step she has taken in life. Marriage is a big deal, not everyone can do it but I know she can. She married her prince charming and I know there is no one better for her than Ryan. I have gained a new brother but yet there is this deep hole in my heart right now.
I’m sitting in my room, Pao’s been gone before but tonight it feels empty without her. It feels weird to be sitting here and knowing she is never coming back to share a bed with me or to just tell me to turn the light off and go to sleep. Tonight I miss my sister.
I know that with time I will get used to this, life must go on and thankfully she is not gone forever she is just a few minutes away :) I am truly happy for her and maybe I’m crying because I’m being selfish but I know this is all part of growing up, people get older, get married, have kids and so on. I guess I just never thought the day would come where I would be sitting here writing about how much I miss my sister.
Sometime I fight with her, I get angry at her and I’ve come to realize that it is my way of protecting my heart from hurting, I have realized that I try to hide my feelings this way but for some reason this time it’s not working.
I pray God will bless her and her hubby, I pray God smiles upon their marriage because I know that they are meant to be together and that they will accomplish amazing things for your glory.
I also thank God for giving me my big sis that I can look up to and now a big bro :)
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