at the end...who is right?

So lately there has been a lot of things going on, things that seem so unfair to me. things that my mind in uncapable of understanding at moments. today, while writing a letter and by a comment or more like a question of What would Jesus do? i really quickly remembered that when Jesus was attacked with words, misunderstood or judged he did not stay quiet like some people think. I really believe that some people think jesus was just a dumb person that stayed quiet so he wouldnt sin. but NO he did not, he in fact always spoke his mind, of course in a very smart and loving way, but he made sure the truth came out. He always knew how to respond in a very wise way. Man there is so much to learn about God and the bible and Jesus and sometimes its overwhelming but challenging at the same time. when we are judge or hurt in some way, our first reaction as humans is to defend ourselves in any way we can. without really measuring the way we respond and without really checking out hearts first. so today as i wrote a letter to some people, i guess i was reminded that its not about defending something we think is our right, its about really believing in my heart the truth. its about thinking things over and asking God what he thinks. i can careless what people say or think, all i should be really worried about is what God things and how he sees my heart. Mistakes sometimes are so hard to get up from, and more if they involve family, which is sad cause family are suppose to be there for us(im not talking about imediate family). And at this point there are so many things going "not right" in my life but i do believe Jesus will help. after all he always really does the impossible.

What i dont really understand is that we as christians all know God but sometimes we all see God only the way we want to or the way that seems right to us. we all use him in our conversations depending our point of view on things. instead of all just really going to him. we use him as a tool to speak to people about things sometimes even to make people feel bad. we use God nowdays as a weapon to even hurt others.....this is something i dont get. if we really know God why not do things his way? in a loving way? so really the big question is am i doing things the way i want them to be? and do i use God in the way i want to, or in the way he really intended things to be? do i only go to him or speak about him when i want to sound better? or do i really ask him to check my heart, attitude and accept anything that he says? its hard to just sit there and let him point out our mistakes and accept them and really make an effort to change. but he is so great he always gives us the strenght to do it.